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Coming clean this winter



Dear Julia,

I remember the first time I held your hand last year back when I was a sophomore in college. You plausibly did not notice, as you were oblivious to your surrounding and your pretty eyes were shut while you were absorbing the chilled winter wind sitting under that old cherry tree in our college playground. Or may be you could feel me? Your hands were cold, almost hard, with a faint line of blue vein running through your arms. I cupped your hands with mine in order to warm them a little. Did you feel it? My warmth was all that I was left with at this point as I sat there endlessly cursing myself for never having confessed how much I love you. I never dared to do so. I confessed my feelings for a thousand times in my mind where you smiled back and held my hand encouragingly but I never really had the courage to do so because I was too scared to find out how you would react. And how the other girls would react if they find out what I just did. I was afraid you will stop hanging out with me and so will the rest of my friends. And being a part of an all girls college, I could not afford to lose the few friends that I have made so far. So I had to keep this to myself for a long time and may be I don’t mind keeping it to myself a little longer. But I promise I will come clean this winter. I will tell you everything that I feel, sitting under that old cherry tree like we did on that windy winter evening last year.

Yours truly.


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